The future is coming whether we like it or not

Hope and Possibility vs Fear and Loss

Have you noticed if you've resigned yourself to ‘this is it’?

Not because you want to. Not because you have to. But because every time you dream of what could be, the voice in your head shouts louder about what you'd lose.

So you stay stuck. Weighing possibilities against responsibilities. Never quite tipping the scales.

I've realised that the last year has been spent working something out – about why choosing to be brave is so bloody difficult, even for people who've already done hard things.

My Theory of Brave

I've come to realise there are three types of brave:

The knee-jerk brave –

when immediate action is required without time for deliberation. The instinctive response. Running into a burning building to save someone’s life.

The reluctant brave –

survival bravery thrust upon us in inescapable circumstances. War, loss, grief. You have to get up every morning and put one foot in front of the other to get to the other side. And would hate for someone to say that you are brave. 

Chosen brave –

the conscious decision to step into the unknown, despite fear.

It's this third type – chosen brave – that I focus on. Because paradoxically, even those who've done brave acts or had braveness thrust upon them find this the most difficult of all.

Why? Because by its very nature, we have to choose to take that first step. And then choose to take the one after that, and the one after that. We can jump off at any time.

The Scales of Brave

Imagine you're holding a set of scales. On one side sits hope and possibility. On the other, fear and loss – the security you've built, the identity you've earned, the expectations of those who depend on you.

Often we sit there weighing the "what if". We dream of what could be, adding a little weight to the possibility side. Then the stakes shout back – what about your responsibilities? What about the mortgage? What will people think? – and we're brought back to ground.

Sometimes life intervenes. It thrusts upon you a life-changing event, tipping the scales – and now you must choose how to respond.

What I've Learned About Choosing Brave

I'm an experiential learner. Everything I share I've either experienced myself, witnessed through those I've supported, or learned from the wisdom of others.

And here's what I know for certain:

Doing this with others makes the balance easier to hold. Being understood on your journey. Having someone hold the vision of possibility when your scales tip towards paralysis.

It's also about shedding the weight of roles and labels. CEO. Mother. Carer. Entrepreneur. Beneath all of that is you – an identity you haven't properly met for a very long time, who has been sitting there patiently, quietly, your whole life.

Meeting yourself is both terrifying and exhilarating. Like trying on clothes that fit you perfectly but you've never dared to wear.

The Daily Dance

Once you've taken that first step, you need to attend to those scales every day. The fear sets in and the stakes of loss shout out, and you need to remind yourself of the possibilities. That your next 20-30 years are going to be the best of your life – they are not behind you.

It won't be smooth. It will have peaks and troughs, dark days and brilliantly light days. But it is you designing your life as you unveil the absolute you.

You'll discover that each step creates another possibility. And that you take each step just as the fear creeps in and starts to paralyse you. Paralysis happens when the scales freeze in perfect tension, equal weight on both sides, and you can't move.

You learn to step before that freeze sets in.

This becomes the daily rebalancing act of your life – weighing hope and possibilities against fear and loss, taking your steps just as you feel the fear about to paralyse you, discovering who you are as you go.

Brave is your dance with the scales. And it's so much easier when we do it together.

So here's my question for you: What type of brave are you experiencing right now?

If you're weighing those scales – feeling the pull of possibility but also the weight of fear and responsibility – I'd love to hear from you. I'm opening up a few spaces for focused one-to-one work to help you find your footing and take those first steps.

Send me a message. Let's talk about what's really going on and what might be possible.